YOUR TURN #2 - Door Manners - The Door

Ok, you have your sign at the door and you're aware of yourself and working to be calm and clear and confident about what you want. Because you've made a list about what you want from your dogs, it is going to be so much easier to address the next step: The Door. I will address more specifics of what and where and how for your dogs in the next post, but some elements will be highlighted here. This post is about The Door.

Now the doors in your home are yours. They are not your dogs'. Some people make jokes about how the doors are theirs because they paid for them, and as soon as their dogs can pay for them the dogs can own them. I'm not completely humorless; I get the joke, but of course, I look at the situation in my serious, feel responsible way. My owning The Door is a primal conversation with my dogs. My not just opening the door, but controlling their passage through it, makes me the provider of sunshine and mud puddles and sticks and fresh air. I open up the world to my dogs and guide them through it. I keep them safe, as well as everyone outside our door.

My neighbors are very sweet and told me not to worry about it when Foster was learning the boundaries of his yard and wandered into their backyards and driveways. While rude and unsafe for Foster, I also felt the responsibility to protect my neighbors who would be devastated to have hit Foster when simply pulling into their own driveways. I am responsible for Foster and that responsibility ripples.

Two things I find people do at the door - Yell and Pull Their Dogs Away. Two things to do instead - Say Nothing and Put Yourself Between Your Dogs and The Door and Face Them.

Saying nothing prevents you from adding to the tense noise created by their barking, and though dogs do use sound to communicate, they more often use body language to have entire conversations. Instead of using human words, try to communicate with your dogs using only body language.

Placing yourself between your dogs and the door, and facing your dogs, communicates ownership. When you pull them away, they are the ones in power. By placing yourself between your dogs and the door, facing your dogs, and then moving forward, you are "claiming" the space, and your dogs will learn to respond by backing away. They may try to maneuver around you at first, but since you have that sign at the door, you don't have to rush, and you have time to claim the door and get your dogs under control.

This is a good time to include your children too. Keeping your infants and toddlers out from underfoot is important during hectic or chaotic times like guests at the door. If you have nappers, hopefully, your children are so used to the barking, visitors do not ruin nap time. I always vacuumed and put dishes away during nap time so the kids in my life would be able to sleep through various noises as they grew up and went to college. If your children are awake, and if jumping up isn't one of the issues with your dogs, holding your young ones, and teaching them a hand command to use such as "Stop" involves them in the space claiming and empowers them in the eyes of your dogs.

If you have concerns for your children's safety, choose a location away from the door in which to leave them so that you can be focused on your silent conversation with your dogs. Again, since you have the sign on the door, visitors know you need a minute. You can be calm, and attend to your family, before attending to your visitor.

Recap:

1. You have a sign on the door. You have the time to get yourself together and your kids to a safe location.

2. Try to say nothing.

3. Place yourself between your dogs and the door, face your dogs, and "claim" The Door as yours.

4. Your dogs may attempt to maneuver around you. Take your time. Block your dogs, and move forward. This usually causes dogs to back up.