Atticus did not ask me for a favor, and then a neighbor did ask me for a favor.
So then a third thing happened, I did not feel sorry.
I hate when Atticus pulls on the leash. I HATE it. I take it personally, and it makes me so mad. We were walking with two friends, Kobe and Sunday, and Atticus was compelled to smell a turtle shell. He yanked all of us over to the flattened shell. Everyone sniffed it, and was non-plussed by it, within about 6 seconds. Just long enough for me to say something like, "Seriously, you guys?!" and have everyone look at me as if I was holding up the continuation of our walk. No one looked sorry in any way. I thought, "I need to be like this. I need to not even feel sorry."
Atticus, why do you think you get to decide where we're going?!?!
A few hours later, a neighbor asked me if I could do her a favor by "swinging by and letting out (her) dog." Whenever I can do something for my friends or neighbors, I do it. If I can't, I just can't. This day, I could not help her so I said, "I won't be able to help you today. I don't have the time to give when you need it." She said, "Really? I thought that would be something so easy for you to do. You're always doing it for someone."
I gave her a look of You're-Seriously-Going-To-Try-To-Guilt-Me-Into-Doing-Something-For-You-When-I've-Said-I-Can't-Do-It? She seemed to decipher the look, and said, "I need to be more like you. I need to say, 'No,' and not feel badly about it at all." I gave her another look. You know the one. The one that says: That-Had-Better-Be-A-Compliment. She deciphered correctly again and said, "Really, I need to be more like you. I need to not apologize for my busy life. If you can't do it, you can't do it. If you could do it, I know you would, but you can't, and there's no need to apologize for that. Thank you, Leanne."
I have seen the need to no longer sacrifice my time and my well-being to save someone else's time and stress. I have seen the benefit of, "No." I believe, in some areas of our lives, there needs to be less apology. There needs to be less, "I'm sorry, but I can only do 17 things at once, and your need is number 18." There needs to be less "Sorry, not sorry." There is no need to be sorry for not feeling sorry!
Atticus wasn't sorry at all for yanking me over to that turtle shell. He saw something he wanted and he went after it. Now, this is not how I want our daily life to go considering the number of deer and bunnies and squirrels we see each day, but the attitude of not being sorry for being and doing what you are and want, is a great example. Thank you, Attie. You're the best.
After a desperate need to examine it,
they decided the smashed shell was nothing special.
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