One Pack

Good Lord, it's been six months since Atticus came home and we've had many adventures and learning experiences and I didn't blog about a single one.  Uucchh.  I have no discipline for writing.  I also don't think you'll be interested in 97% of what goes through my mind, but Good Lord, it's been a while.

I was asked a question nearly six months ago, and it struck me as so unusual that I thought I would write about it.  I thought about writing for quite a while, and then I asked people what they thought for a little while, and now I'm going to try to remember what I felt and what people said.

"So is he like J's dog?"

That was the question, and oh yeah, now I remember how I felt!

What the what????

"Pardon me?" I asked, trying not to let my voice rise to the ridiculously loud level it can when I'm surprised or irritated, which was how I was immediately feeling thinking I'd heard 'So is he like J's dog?'.

"Is he more J's dog?"

Quizzical-faced pause while trying not to look judgmental.

"What makes you ask that?"

"Well, I just mean, he's with J right now and it seems like he might like J better and be his dog."

"We're not 'his or her' kind of people.  We're a family."

The polite conversation didn't end there, but the whose-dog-is-he portion of the exchange ended.  I don't think it ended because the person completely understood me and it all made sense, but more likely because the person did not understand what I was saying at all and dropped it.

I could have jumped on the exchange as a 'teachable moment,' but some times I'm just tired of the moments, and many times, no one wants me to be his or her teacher anyway.  We are One Pack.  We are not two teams labeled Humans and Dogs.  We are The Pack.

As a pack, J and I have had a few dogs, five actually.  Each pack member has, and had, his and her own personality, and likes and dislikes, and quirks and needs.  Each pack member is part of "We," and not a "His" or "Hers."  Yes, Satchel was drawn to J as if the sun rose upon J's entrance, but Koko looked to no one but me in our home.  Luna did not realize until she was about 3 years old that it was me she loved like no other, and Foster Dog is happiest while lying on J's lap.  All four of these loving canines have preferred to be in the massage room with me at any time of day, and even if J has chicken in his hand, a walk with me is the number one desire.  There is no "You are J's dog, and you are Leanne's dog."  We are a family, and we each have an energy and a place that makes each of us happy.

Atticus whines and yelps when I walk away from him while J holds his leash.  When he is told he can jump into bed, Atticus leaps to lie next to me.  When J rolls one pant leg up, or is wearing cycling shorts, Atticus can focus only on J.  J behaving this way means Atticus will be running along side J's bike for a "bike run."  Besides, tracking a scent, there is nothing that makes Atticus more happy than a "bike run."  So whose dog is Atticus?  He's ours.  Not his. Not hers.  Ours.

We also don't have separate packs in our family.  Humans are outnumbered by dogs in our home, but there is no human pack and dog pack; there is The Pack.  I'm always surprised when dog behaviorists are labeled "outdated" for using the concept of "dominance" in their observations because those who seem to dislike the word "dominant" often use "alpha" when describing their pack environment.  Merriam-Webster (2013) provides one definition for "alpha" as: socially dominant especially in a group of animals.

I have no research to back up my observation.  It's just something I've noticed along with people asking me, "So who's the alpha?" when looking at our dogs.  I always respond with, "Me."  Often the follow-up question is, "No, with the dogs.  Who's alpha?"  I always respond with, "Again, me."  Sometimes I'll add, "They've chosen, and in some ways been forced to live with humans.  I'm the most equipped to teach them and keep them safe to live among humans.  I have to be alpha at all times."  I do recognize that dogs know humans are not dogs.   They play completely differently with each other than they do with us, but ultimately, it is me who has to have the only word in guiding them.

In the canine world, unwanted behavior is punished, and deferent, desirable behavior is rewarded.  We do that in our home as well.  When you take a toy away from your pack member, I will remind you that the toy is mine by stepping on it (Punishment by you not having access to it).  You will walk away from it (Deferent, desirable behavior), be told "That's right," (Reward), and I will give the toy back to the pack member from whom you took it (Reward to that pack member's deferent, desirable behavior).

During feeding time, there is a place for dogs to wait until their meals are prepared.  Those who wait and stay in the proper location are called to their meal stations first.  When everyone behaves equally well, all are told "Okay," and each pack member goes to his and her meal station.  Everyone is rewarded equally when everyone does what I want, and when they see this over and over and over without fail, they learn to trust my consistency, both in my demands and in my fairness.  I am alpha, and I encourage every human who interacts with My Pack to behave as I do so that The Pack recognizes all humans as socially dominant.  I do that because in any situation involving humans and dogs, any mistake made will always be blamed on the dog.  It is my job to protect My Pack, and that is one way to protect them. (If you want to talk about dogs as protection, that's a whole other topic!)

So, there is One Pack.  My dogs are My Pack and The Pack, and I am the Leader of My Pack and The Pack.  I am a member of My Pack and The Pack, and no one belongs exclusively to me or to anyone else.  We belong to each other.  We belong together, and to keep us together, I work every day to keep us safe, harmonious, and happy.  That's an Alpha's job.