And Then There Were Four

It's all dog all the time at Casa Curtin-Hess, but over the last few weeks it has been a little more intense. I think the animals in The Pack knew a big change was coming.

Since mid-June, our beloved Koko has gone from refusing a few meals per week, to eating only a few meals per week, to eating virtually nothing. For a few days she ate 2-3 chicken breasts per day, and then she ate nothing. And then she had severe colitis and then she couldn't walk on her own.

Jason and I carried our Kokies outside and inside for several days. She had to receive subcutaneous fluids as she was becoming terribly dehydrated. She started showing doggy signs of discomfort. Though I would carry her in and out 20 times a day, that's no life for my Koko. She let me know I needed to let her go.
On Monday, August 3rd, 2009, Our Koko, Our Kokopelli, Our Koko Puff, Our Kokie-motion died. I do not want to live without her, but I know she wants me to find my way.

As we knew we were going to have to say goodbye, I told Koko to be prepared to see nothing for a few seconds and then to realize that she could smell leaves and dirt and pollen. I told her to follow her nose to those favorite woodsy smells and her Carrie would be waiting for her. Carrie would have on her hiking boots and hiking pants, a fleecy shirt over a sporty t-shirt, and a baseball cap. Though they wouldn't be needing it, Carrie would have a leash slung across her body and she would bend down to greet Koko by saying, "Hey Kokopelli! It's mumma! Good to see you girl!"

I told Koko they would both feel good and be ready for a long walk in the woods. The best part would be that there are no burrs in Heaven so Koko could run through any flora and never have to be brushed out. And I told her she wouldn't have the urge to kill the baby bunnies anymore, but would feel free and strong and light enough to chase them. Carrie would whistle for her and guide her through their next places together.

I asked Koko to please be with me whenever I walk in the woods because I will miss her and I still need her. I'll need just a little sign now and then to help me live without her.
We knew it already, but in the last weeks Koko showed us, as Jason says, that "She's a bad ass." We are still a strong Pack. We're just minus one. And not just Any One. We're missing our Koko. Our beloved Koko. Our strong and forgiving Koko. Our Family. Part of my Soul. I don't want to rush it, but through my sobs and tears, I look forward to seeing her again.