When discussing the behaviors we need to work on at Casa Curtin-Hess, a friend asked me how I expected Foster to not go up the stairs to the bonus room without a baby gate. I told her I'd never used baby gates as a nanny or a dog owner; it's just not something I've ever considered. Maybe I make things too hard on myself? I don't see it that way. I see Foster's comfort with walking up whatever stairs he wants and pooping in our bonus room as a lack of strength in our relationship. Foster has only been with us for 2 weeks. I shouldn't expect our relationship to be strong enough to override his survival instincts.
I have very little idea what Foster's life was like before becoming a member of The Pack. While interesting if I knew them, the details of his earlier life aren't necessary for me to build his trust in us so that he'll comfortably do whatever we demand. I don't need to know where he came from to earn his respect so that he'll want to follow our rules regardless of our presence. Every day is a new day for dogs, and they usually want to please humans because really great things come from living with us.
We are providing some really great things for Foster The Dog: cozy places to lay like in cushy beds and by fireplaces, walks in the woods, crunchy meals at 7am and 5pm, Milkbone and marshmallow treats, perfect companions in Luna & Jason, and snuggles from people all day long. None of these things kept him from jumping up on the counter or pooping in the house. We have to build a relationship in which Foster not only understands what I want and what I don't want, but in which he respects what I want - in which he respects me.
So how do you train respect? I think the respect of my dogs comes from the hundreds of interactions in our every day. Respect is built during our walks when we don't move if there is tension in the leash. It's built when I wait for my dogs to sit, be calm, and look to me instead of at the food before I feed them. It's built when they have to follow me through doorways and down the driveway and through the woods. Or when I tell them where they have to lie while I cook. I give them a million directions a day...until they get it, and make the choice I want them to make on their own. I make all of their choices until they learn how to make the right ones.
I'm not saying I know everything there is to know about raising dogs. I've read dozens of books on the human-canine bond and dog training, and I still refer to them often. I feel good about the way we nurture our family at Casa Curtin-Hess, but I try not to tell anyone else what to do...sometimes people ask, but if they don't, I'm learning to keep my mouth shut! Some things that dogs do don't bother other people. I get it. I try to think of what is best for my dogs, and even if it doesn't bother others, or even me, if it's not what's best for my dogs, I have to train for a different choice.
Stairs. They mean so much. Stairs take you from one location to an entirely different one. They separate sounds. When my dogs are in the gym with Jason, they look to the ceiling as they hear me come home and run up the stairs to find me. Stairs can unveil the fun surprise of who is making that noise up there! They can also be unsafe. You can trip up the stairs and break a wrist or slide down the stairs and break your butt. If your dog is on the stairs with you, he or she can trip you up in a heartbeat and then you're broken. I train about the stairs. And Foster really really really needs this right now!
Training your dog to wait for you at the top or bottom of the stairs is a great relationship builder. It reinforces sit, stay and come. It reinforces you as the leader. It reinforces the different levels as your spaces because you enter new territories first. It reinforces your dog needing your permission to enter a new territory. It makes stairs more safe! It's just great.
Here's how I do it...and how I'll be doing it over and over and over with Foster The Dog for the next 5 or 6 weeks.
1. Your dog needs to have the foundation of the commands Sit, Stay and Come.
2. Have your dog sit at the top or bottom of a stairway.
3. Tell her to Stay.
4. Begin walking the stairs.
If your dog breaks her Stay, put her back to the Exact Same Spot and command her to Stay again. I recommend a hand in a "stop" position so that you don't have to say "Stay. Stay. Stay. Stay." too many times. A leash can be helpful if you need to "catch" her, as long as there is nothing for it to get caught on, and you won't trip on it.
Guess they were tired from the day already...they laid down even!
5. Once you reach the end of the stairway, face your dog, pause a few seconds and then command your dog to Come.
Still staying...
You can also return to your dog if Come isn't a solid command, or just to switch it up a bit.
Foster is learning his name and that good things happen when he comes to it!
Praise her for her excellent skills in following your directions!
Treats for a Good Dog can make the game/lesson even more fun.
6. Repeat a few times.
You can do this a few times each day to strengthen your relationship and to give your dog something fun to do.
ALWAYS end on a success. Don't give up if it's not going perfectly. End when your dog does what you want - even if it's just Sit.
You may not have stairs in your home, but you may have them out your front door, or somewhere along your walks. You can do this exercise anywhere. It's always fun for your dog.
Luna has this lesson perfected.
Luna stayed even though I called Foster and he received a treat.
She is so awesome and we hope Foster is watching her as much as watching us!
Foster is learning. I'm planning on teaching him not just about the safety of the stairs, but that Yes, they lead to the bonus room, and he needs my permission to climb them!
There have been a lot of new needs during the last 2 weeks. Let me start with Luna.
Our Precious and Perfect Peanut, Luna, has 3 lumps that need to be surgically removed. Before surgery and forever after, we need to reduce the inflammation in her body. I thought Luna had allergies, which she probably does, but did you know that fat is an inflammatory organ? I know that being overweight - whether you are a human or a canine - can cause all kinds of health issues, but I did not know of the new research showing fat as being a major player in the inflammatory processes of the body. Inflammation can feed some types of tumors and for Luna's general comfort and overall health, we need to reduce the inflammation within her. Even though we measure out every calorie for her, we need to be even more aware of what we give her and reduce her body fat. We can do that.
An oncologist suggested we change Luna's diet to home cooked. We could try to assess what food allergens may be inflaming her by providing her with one novel protein source and a variety of vegetables except for corn. No grains, nothing else. Since she's had chicken and beef and lamb and fish, we decided on venison. And since several of her supplements contain either corn or fish, no supplements. What dog wouldn't LOVE a diet of venison and carrots? Well, one named Luna.
First, it was quite challenging finding a resource for over 100 pounds of venison. We needed a three month supply of just over one pound of meat per day. I panicked about how much this home cooked diet would cost, but I knew I had to figure out a way to take care of my Luna. I found ground venison for $4.75/pound and ordered 20 pounds of it. Second, Luna wasn't able to tolerate the quick change. When Satchel was going through cancer treatment, he easily transitioned to ground beef, rice and kidney beans. Luna puked everything up for 2 days. Oh, the stress.
So we have some ground venison for the future of Miss Luna's tummy...or lots of venison chili.
She's worth it.
After some consultation, and some thinking about how well we know our Luna, we've changed our plans. I will be feeding Luna good old-fashioned Newman's Own Organics Chicken Dog Food for Active and Senior Dogs in addition to a few of her supplements. She will lose a few pounds, have those 3 lumps removed, recover, and then we will reassess her inflammatory issues. So far, Luna is feeling so much better. Therefore, WE are feeling so much better! Surgery will be scheduled once her thyroid panel analysis results are in.
Paul Newman has never done me wrong...
And there are the needs of our Foster The Dog. I was worried that Foster's digestive system had been compromised by his stress at the shelter. We were told that he was losing weight and that they couldn't get him to eat. In 3 days, Foster appeared to be increasing in his confidence and comfort because he was happily eating! But he wasn't pooping... When he'd gone 48 hours without an inkling to poop, I got really worried. Well, Jason discovered that Foster The Dog just wasn't pooping outside...he was running upstairs, as far away from his living spaces as possible, and pooping in the bonus room. We gave him too much responsibility too soon. Dang it! We have to tether him to us every second at home, and confine him to a crate when we have to leave. We've never done this in our doggy life! We happen to have a crate, but we've never used it in this traditional sense.
Ye Olde Crate for Le Chien Gentil
I wouldn't consider letting Foster off leash in the yard; it was a huge mistake to let him off leash in the house without complete supervision. Just because he was stressed being confined in the basement, doesn't mean I should have let him be off leash and unconfined in the house - especially while I was gone! I hate having to leave him, but it's even worse to make the bonus room his Poopy Field.
But then there's something even worse to do. I should have never left the house with a dog I don't know, unconfined, and approximately 4 pounds of chicken defrosting on the counter. Foster had the afternoon of his life annihilating the package of frozen boneless skinless chicken breasts. I was livid, but I can't even get mad at him. It's my mistake. I've been spoiled by the behavior of my dogs for the last 13 years. Foster doesn't know Our Ways yet. I need more time to teach him, and he needs more time to learn and succeed.
This is a replica of the Afternoon Annihilation victim
So Luna's eating with Paul Newman every day, Foster is living with a leash, and I am back on my A Game. My dogs need me on my A Game. That's their Number One Daily Need actually. I'd better get to the stadium. More commentary later!
The first or second question we are asked after people learn of Foster the Dog is,
"How do he and Luna get along?"
First, we only allow Harmony at Casa Curtin-Hess. We introduced Luna and Foster in such a way that Foster could feel safe and wouldn't need to react in any way other than interest. Second, you can't shake Luna. Luna is the most reliably loving and calming and accepting being that has ever graced this planet. Even if Foster the Dog had lost his marbles, as was mentioned to me as I walked out of the shelter with him, "Oh yeah, I forgot, he doesn't like big dogs," Luna would have never escalated the marble loss. Luna makes everything better...
True, I would never put Luna in a position to be injured, or to do all the work. The responsibility lies with me to protect her and bring only good into her life. We introduced Foster the Dog to the structure, safety and expectations of our family from the moment he was allowed to jump into the Saturn. We didn't have Luna and Foster meet face to face. We walked with them first and shared calm when kneeling down to the side to offer treats. We had Foster sit with his back to Luna, and while it made him uncomfortable (he wasn't accepting any food), I feel confident it built trust between all of us. Luna could sniff him if she wanted to. Foster was in a passive position while we allowed only positive things to happen. Everyone was calm and no one had to defend him or herself from anything. Luna didn't wag her tail, but she was calm and wanted to walk, and she gave Foster space, so we took her advice: Foster needed a little more time. He was ok, no need to be stressed, but also no need to push anything. There is never a question with Luna's judgment. She always knows. So we kept walking.
Luna could smell the Milkbones in our pockets. We gave her some and Jason offered some to Foster. He stepped back. We all kneeled. I gave Luna a Milkbone from my palm and offered one to Foster from my palm. He took it. Luna was wagging up a storm. I put one in my hand and placed my hand over Jason's. Luna licked up hers. Foster paused and looked around and then took his. We broke some up and put some in my palm and some in Jason's while still touching. Luna slobbered up hers. Foster paused. Foster stepped back. Foster sniffed at Luna's drool. Foster licked up each of his. All of us super close, with food, and no one had an issue. There was trust and Luna had shown the way.
So how are Luna and Foster getting along? Luna is teaching him a few of her Keep-Away moves with toys and she's sharing her internal clock about when it feels time to eat. Luna knows the sounds of visitors arriving, and Foster looks to her cues for when it's time to go downstairs to meet new people.
She's helped him realize the king-sized bed is a great place for a cuddle up at night...
...but the Barkaloungers are also excellent...
We are a Pack. Foster is learning our ways and Luna is the best role model. Thee Best.
Guided by a Universal Intervention, we have added to Our Pack. It became official in my heart today when I felt he should sleep in the bed with me and Luna. I introduce you to Foster!
From shelter to front porch
The Story of Foster is lengthy, but here are some details....
Jason decided he was ready to add to The Pack. I said I wasn't ready. How could I be ready? I had no business adding to the family. I'm still crying every day about how I miss my Koko and Satchel and how I just want them back. I'd just had a dream that Satchel had come back from the dead and instead of calling all the news teams to come out and film his miracle, I felt it was just normal for him to be back with us. He still needed some physical support, but he could breathe and he was with us and that was right. Jason reminded me that Koko had come to me in a dream too...that was True.
A few months ago, my Sweet Koko came to me in a dream. It wasn't just a dream. It was Her. She told me that Of Course I would have more dogs in my life. I am me and I will have dogs. I hugged her and smelled her and soaked her in as much as I could. She told me that my next dog would be named "True." It physically hurt to wake up and not be with her.
Jason told me I would never think I was ready, but he could see that we were ready. The Pack was ready. There was an email for me to read.
There was a puppy without a solid home. A Boxador. The girl who was trying to care for her couldn't continue. Jason wanted to meet them both. I didn't have "that feeling" I've had with Satchel, Luna and Koko. That Feeling that That Dog Is Mine before I've even met him or her. But I also realized I've never felt like this before - so deep in grief that I'm merely functioning through many days. Though I felt the girl was very attached, we made a date to meet.
This started a process that I still feel removed from. I feel that I was completely guided by God and purposely removed because I have been in the way of my own happiness.
Before the Boxador was to come over, I filled out an application on-line for Almost Home Animal Haven. I was attracted to a dog they called "Jake" who was described as their "Office Manager." My application was approved about 12 hours later and I was to come meet him in about a week. We were to meet the Boxador in a few days. I felt completely crazy. How was this happening? Who was I? I wasn't ready.
The Sunday Boxador date was canceled. The girl and her family were going to figure out how to keep the puppy. I knew it, and it was ok. I wasn't ready anyway.
Last Tuesday was an important vet appointment for Miss Luna. I found out she's allergic to just about everything she's eating and is full of inflammation which is feeding 3 "very concerning" lumps that need to be removed right now. One seemed very similar to the type of lump Satchel had removed 5 years ago which required 18 radiation treatments as well. I felt faint. I definitely wasn't ready to add to Our Pack. I had to focus on Luna. Nutrition plan = HUGE expense. I'd figure it out. I made a million phone calls and was ready to take care of Luna. I was not ready to add to My Pack.
Who drove me to the shelter last Wednesday? The Hands of God. I thought I would be interviewed and have a home visit scheduled. I was given a dog to foster for 2 weeks. "Jake" was coming to Casa Curtin-Hess. The word TRUE had come through so many sentences and was in so many descriptions. I wondered if this whole experience could be True...
I didn't want to call him "Jake." We wanted to help him let go of all that was before, but I wasn't feeling that his name was "True." Did that mean he wasn't ours? He seemed awfully comfortable with us.
We wore him out within the first 2 hours...
We started calling him our Foster Dog and decided he needed to experience The Show...the busy days at Casa Curtin-Hess. He would be meeting dozens of people and several dogs, and we'd have to help him learn The Way To Behave. He performed fantastically.
He barked at something and Luna showed him how to assess what kind of vocalization is needed
We're learning his favorite spots and particular needs...
He LOVES the fireplace
...and just like everyone else who has ever lived in this house - he loves Jason best...
Jason has a buddy again
We're still getting to know each other, and the adoption can't become final for another week of "Fostering," but we're not a givesy-backsy kind of family. We're committed to meeting the needs of Our Pack and we are now a Pack of Six: 4 of the Earth, and 2 who I still meet in my dreams...
I can't believe it has been so long since I attended to I'm a D.O.G.! I really thought I had created topics after our trip to Colorado, but no...it's all been in my head apparently. And honestly, there hasn't been much I've been compelled to write about. I'm in a similar emotional place about not having Koko & Satchel physically with me each day - heartbroken. I'm in a similar emotional place about people's insensitivity about my on-going grief - repelled. I'm in less of a fog, and I feel less of the weight of grief, but it's there, and it's just going to be there. My missing Koko & Satchel is a part of my every day. And thank You God, Luna is a part of my every day.
As I made my way through the events of November and December and January, a feeling of comfort snuggled me when I thought of the word Harmony. I kept thinking about how I could bring Harmony into my every day. I thought about where there is Harmony in my every day. Luna personifies (I know, maybe dogifies.) Harmony. I feel great when I'm with her. We are always Harmonious, and we feel totally Harmonious with nature during our daily walks. Our favorite thing in the world to do is walk the Alligator Trail in the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore. An afternoon spent there is an afternoon in Harmony with God.
Taking a break during a walk in the woods
But what creates Harmony besides a walk in the woods? Once again, Luna showed me the way. Luna trusts me. I don't always trust myself. I often second guess myself and insult myself about things I've done. I could have done these things 10 years ago, even 25 years ago, but I still beat myself up about them. Luna never second guesses me. She never insults me. She never even seems disappointed in me.
Luna says, "Hi," and wonders where we're going next!
The only thing that ever disappoints her is when I have to leave the house without her. She trusts that I will come back.
I'll wait right here for you Leanne
She trusts that I will feed her.
I know you have to make me wait, but that Birthday Pancake smells soooo good...
She trusts that we will walk at least 3 times each day. She trusts that when that St. Bernard breaks through its tie out and comes charging at us, I'll protect her. She trusts that when we're together there is Harmony. Luna shows me that Trust is a great part of Harmony. When we Trust each other, and when we Trust ourselves, there is a Peaceful feeling of Security. That Luna trusts me provides a confidence that perpetuates confidence and compassion and comfort. She looks to me for the order and adventure of our day. She waits for me and she follows me. She trusts me. I trust her. We are in Harmony.
I'm sure whatever we do next will be great...I just need a little break for a minute...
Uuuccchhh...we had to leave...
Luna and I got up at 4am to walk, pack up and be on the road at 5am. A 22-hour car ride was ahead. We planned for uneventful and that is what we got. The only stressful part was as the night wore on, I couldn't see as well. I was getting really tired. Jason drove the first 8 hours, I drove for 9.5, and Jason was our finisher. We were both strung out, but had some fun along the way.
We had satellite radio and were able to listen to some games.
We realized that Jason picked the perfect week to go.
We had temperatures in the 80's. The moment we left it was COLD - car says 49F!
Luna was tired from our week of both relaxing and go go going...
She shifted around quite a bit during the drive, but looked so comfy traveling like this!
So we arrived home at 4am and just felt road tired and dirty. Luna showed her happiness to be home and clean...
Cuddled up on the bed after a shower...she's our little ewok...
We'll be recovering in a different way now. Unpacking and doing laundry at various places (our washer calamity is still under re-construction) will be a slight inconvenience, but we'll be fine. I noticed that our beautiful vacation distracted me from my grief, and, of course, showed me many blessings. I understand that blessings don't take away my grief, but they provide that foggy view into happiness, and there are more moments of clarity. There are moments of complete blindness, and those are ok too. There are blessings in having many ways of seeing.
My clearest vision is that I have the Perfect Pack for me. I never tired of the 24 hours of Jason and Luna. Sure, Jason rode his bike, but just like at home, Luna and I counted down the hours until he would be home with us again. We all like being together. Luna and I feel as cemented as ever, and I don't like thinking about being away from her because I don't like being away from her. That hasn't changed at all. Our Pack vision is clear - we just like to be together...
I can't believe today is our last day. I just got into my Vacation Stride...
We plan to leave Vail EARLY tomorrow morning and we think we can drive through and arrive at home EARLY Sunday morning. We'll sleep sleep sleep and unpack and then our life including work resumes. I said to Jason, "I don't want to go back..." Jason said, "Our life is a vacation, Pal." He's partially right. Our life is so blessed and easy. We think Luna will sleep sleep sleep when we return home. She's been the best traveling companion and we've So enjoyed the days and days without separation. I can't bear to think about having to leave her at home to do any work.
Our morning walk was beautiful, as they all have been. We had an easy day planned. We waited for the temperature to rise a bit...it started at 36F for us...to go for a walk through Ford Park and the Betty Ford Alpine Garden. We checked all the signs for "No Dogs Please" and didn't see any...until we got to the BACK of the park! At the back of the park the sign very clearly said NO DOGS ALLOWED PLEASE. We had to walk through the entire park, knowing we weren't supposed to be there, to get out of there!
Our view during our morning walk
Luna along Ford Park
Then Luna and I walked through Vail Village looking for a bratwurst in a Bavarian pretzel roll. It's Oktoberfest in Vail! But the Fest doesn't start until 5pm, so it was back to the condo to wait for Jason to return from his ride. Luna became awfully hot along the way!
Luna found some shade
She's just so cute, I had to take another!
Once Jason returned, we went to find some pizza and do some souvenir shopping! I hadn't bought a thing yet. I hadn't really seen anything. Well, I found some things...
Luna's no digger, but we've had such a great trip as a Pack
I spotted this earlier, and can't believe I need another sweatshirt...you know I'll wear it.
The furriness is everywhere but the sleeves.
So didn't need another t-shirt, but it says "K-9 Search & Rescue"!!!!
Back of the t-shirt
The arm of the t-shirt has valuable information
POOF, I had souvenirs!
And then on with the rest of our last evening...here was our view along the walk...
Colorado is beautiful
The Pack will head home tomorrow, but until then, we're sticking together and healing each other with our loving presence. All is well.
