Motivations

"Your dogs lead you around by the nose."

This.  This is what someone thinks.  This is what someone thinks is important for me to know.

"Your dogs lead you around by the nose."

I've got to tell you, it stung.  I can know that my relationships with The Pack include respect and loyalty and leadership and deep love, but it still stings when someone tells you several people in your life believe that you are fooling yourself.

Once the sting waned, I was left with a mark.  The mark is still there, and a realization.  I realize that not all people have the level of love in their lives that I do.  I realize that after the initial sting of anger, what I feel is pity.

I don't think anyone needs or benefits from my pity.  I think it simply keeps me from being hurt.  One day I will move on from pity, but today, that is where I am.

Several years ago, I picked a card from an Inspirational Deck.  It described my life then perfectly, and it has continued to describe my life and make me smile.  Today, the card seems to shine from its display place among pictures of The Pack and My Lovies.

"I am motivated by Love."

This.  This is who I am.

I am sleep deprived, not because my dogs control me and wake me through the night, but because Foster often doesn't feel well and is better able to get healing rest when I sit with him and massage him and rub his itchy skin.  He sleeps.  I don't.  That's ok.  I am motivated by Love.

I feel stressed about money, not because I don't work or because I buy too many toys and clothes for my dogs, but because high quality health care, surgeries, chemotherapy, high quality food and supplements cost a lot.  The Pack lives long and lives well.  I am motivated by Love.

I do not attend all family events, not because I do not value family, but because my definition of family includes my dogs and being with them and meeting their needs are high on my Priority List.  Happy, secure dogs make a happy, secure family, and make a happy, secure me.  I am motivated by Love.

Sometimes criticisms sting, but usually the blessings of my life prevent the sting from even occurring.  I wish for everyone to know the love I know, to know the love I receive, and to know the love I give.

As November begins, and Foster's chemotherapy is nearing completion, I feel thankful.  I am thankful for the love in my life and for the challenges that have put that love on display.  Thank you to everyone who is supporting us publicly and silently.  We are going to make it.  We are motivated by Love.

Atticus Improvement

I have been focused on Foster much of the Summer, and I've questioned my inconsistent attentiveness to the ongoing need of training Atticus.  Atticus will have been home for one year around Thanksgiving!  After almost one year, Attie and I are only about 1/2 way through mastering the Canine Good Citizen test items, and he still pulls a lot on the leash.  I have no confidence that Atticus would come to me if he was on a scent off-leash, and I've not built my confidence because I haven't been able to give him many chances to be off-leash.  Long-line, yes, and I've experienced his overwhelming attraction to snakes.  My waist and shoulders have been challenged by the long-line-snake combination.

This is one snake Atticus did not get close enough to to kill

I was feeling as if I was failing Atticus, and then he showed me two beautiful developments and I couldn't stop kissing him.

1.  Foster hasn't been eating everything at meal time.  Sometimes he leaves just a few kibbles, and sometimes he leaves half of everything:  meat, vegetables, kibble, supplements.  I usually put his bowl in the refrigerator to save for his next meal, but the other day I became distracted by the need to clean Luna's allergy eyes and itchy ears.  I noticed hours later that Foster's bowl was still in his feeding station and the food he left was still there.  Ground beef, beets and fish oil.  Atticus had left it all!  A first time for him!  Yay Attie!

Atticus On Watch

2.  When Atticus first came home, he nearly broke through the dining room doorwall whenever he saw a squirrel, chipmunk or raccoon.  A deer created a 5-alarm training session.  We've worked on his critter excitement, and he only occasionally whines or barks while looking out that doorwall after dark.  Recently, I saw Atticus looking out the doorwall with his ears all perky and his tail wagging.  No whining, no barking, no scratching at the glass.  Wanting to reward the behavior, I quietly said, "Good boy, Attie.  Thank you," while walking over to look out the doorwall with him.  He turned to look at me, tail still wagging, plus a deferential ear drop.  Perfect.  I knelt down to express my happiness and I saw what was so interesting to him.  INCHES from his nose, with only glass as a separator, was a chipmunk.  It was as if the chipmunk was taunting Attie.  Sweet Atticus had his eye on the chipmunk, but he seemed to have learned that  The Lady doesn't like it when he almost breaks the doorwall, so he observed the chipmunk, and maybe even telepathically communicated with it.  Maybe he said, "Chipmunk!  'Member when I used to try to eat you through this thingy?!  'Member?  Well, now The Lady snuggles me and kisses me when I don't do that.  And she gives me food and tells me I'm awesome, so I'm not going to eat you through this thingy today, but if I see you out there with no thingy between us, I might try, so be fast if you don't want me to catch you.  Ok, bye."

Yup.  Attie is Awesome.