I feel alone a lot. It's ok. I'm not the only person to love a dog. I'm not the only person to want to learn about being a fantastic leader for my dogs. I am the only person who is constantly observing my dogs. I am constantly watching Foster Dog. I am watching him for signals of how he is adjusting to, and learning in, his new life.
"New." I know Foster Dog has been with us nearly six months. I still feel like he's "new." I'm still getting to know him. Two nights ago, I learned he is intense and still unsure. We were on our evening walk and we encountered an unsure dog who charged and barked at us and backed away continuing to bark. That dog was on our right, Foster's favorite side, so I led Foster to walk behind me and to my left side to put myself between him and Luna and that dog. Foster was quite interested in that dog. Foster's ears were perky and he was looking to stare down that dog. Because that dog had backed away after charging, I felt confident that he was unsure and just barking to alert us to stay away. Foster's stare down could be the next step to a fight if I didn't remain calm and keep myself between everyone. That dog continued to bark and charge and retreat and I put my right hand up to communicate "Stop" to him as we continued walking by. Foster was pulling on the leash and darting his head from in front of me to behind me to in front of me to behind me. I stepped a little to the left to snap him out of his stare and, not on purpose, stepped on one of his front feet. He made a noise that sounded like a combination of a yelp and a growl, and he sort of spun around as if a bug was biting his back. This showed me he was stressed. Frustrated and unsure.
We quickly passed that dog, who had stopped barking, and I stopped us in some grass. Still keeping myself between my dogs and the direction of that dog, I said, "I got ya Foster Dog. I've got ya buddy," and kneeled down. Luna was her "whatever" self the whole time, but now thought maybe we were stopping for a treat break. Her ears became perky and she was very attentive. I told them both to lie down and we just paused for a minute. Foster Dog's ears went back and I thought, Ok, he's relaxed now. Only then did I give them each a little treat, and we continued with our walk. We stopped a few more times for treats and it was a great evening walk. Fun for us, and revealing to me. Foster Dog is still kind of "new." I've still got work to do in building our relationship.
Foster Dog has shown me several times that he is committed to us. I love when I call him and he approaches me with his head down and his ears back. He's coming to his Pack Leader! He also sweetly tucks his head under my chin when he's looking for a snuggle, just like a puppy or pack follower would do to his Mumma or Leader. He shows me that he knows I'm committed to him. It's a great feeling. What his behavior on that walk showed me though is that he, at times, still feels like he's out there on his own and is unsure if I'm there to protect him.
Dogs like that dog we encountered charge and bark from the school of The Best Defense Is A Good Offense, or I'll Bite You Before You Have A Chance To Bite Me. These academic programs can get a dog into a lot of trouble, but I understand the concepts. I'm working to teach Foster that I've got him covered and there's no need for him to be preemptive or respond. I've got it covered. It is my job to take care of him and everything we encounter. I tried to communicate that by putting myself between Foster and that dog, and by putting my hand up to Stop that dog. Most importantly, I tried to communicate safety and calm but not freaking out that a dog was barking and charging. I stayed calm, and Luna stayed calm, and with more experience, I think Foster Dog will stay calm. He's going to learn that I've got him covered and we're going to keep walking by barking dogs. Any dog that does approach us will be my responsibility because "I've got you covered Buddy!"
Some of the sweetest moments that show me Foster Dog is learning to love and trust us and be comfortable in his home involve Luna. Sweet Sweet Luna. Yesterday, as I snuggled my puppies who were lying on the floor near each other, Foster Dog tucked his head under my chin as a submissive pack member might, and Luna rolled over nearly on top of him to reveal her adorable belly and request a scratch. Yes, she too is a submissive pack member, but she's also very smart and intuitive and wouldn't reveal her belly without trust that I have her covered and without feeling comfortable that Foster Dog could handle her rolling on him! Then this morning, Foster laid down in the kitchen and rolled on his side. He was just so cute I had to get down on the floor and snuggle him. He wagged his tail...I love that. But even better, Luna walked over to see us and sniff him and Foster wagged his tail harder. Sometimes I'm alone, but I'm never lonely. There's love in this house!
I've been told lately that I spoil my dogs. I ask the people who make this observation to tell me what I do that spoils my dogs, and I'm told things like, "You walk them all the time," or "They just are." Neither one of these responses makes any sense to me, nor does the observation that I "spoil"; whatever that means anyway. I think I meet the basic needs of my dogs. I exercise them physically and mentally, I feed them, and I encourage them to trust me by leading them to places and things that are beneficial to them. In short, I work each day to build a strong relationship with my dogs, with me as their leader and them as my followers. I don't see that as spoiling.We do walk every day, usually multiple times per day. We spend approximately 2 hours walking together every day. The weather stops us only a handful of times each year. Honestly, my day doesn't truly start until I've walked with my dogs, and walking with them in the evening or before bed is a great way to wind down from the stresses of the day. The Walk is as much for me as it is for them and our relationship.
No matter the weather, we've got the gear and the motivation to be outside together.I have specific requirements for our walk. My dogs must follow me. They are not to walk in front of me, or pull me to areas they want to sniff, or decide they want to stop and lie down. I decide when it's time to sniff and pee, not them. I've been told I'm too strict and The Walk should be The Dogs' Walk, meaning let them go wherever they want. I don't agree. I see The Walk as our time to bond as Leader and Followers, and I bet many of the people who let their dogs go wherever they want during a walk only walk one dog. I don't even want to imagine what it would be like on our 6 Dog Days if I let all the dogs go wherever they wanted and never follow me...uucchh...not enjoyable for anyone!
With one of our pals on a dog walking day. We're taking what we call a Shady Spot Break.
When I walk with my dogs, and I'm kind of particular in that I usually say I'm walking with them, not that I'm taking them, or I'm walking them, or that they're walking me. It's just a different attitude I like to start our walks with - We're Walking Together. Yes, I'm directing them, and yes, I expect them to follow me, but we're walking as a Pack, we're Together.
I use leashes frequently. Number One because Foster Dog and I are still working on our connection and bond - he would easily run into the swamp after swans or a chipmunk or a deer and not respond to my call. Number Two because I feel leashes often help me protect my dogs when I'm in areas where other people walk with their dogs who aren't as friendly as mine. Believe me, we are working on Foster Dog's manners in greeting dogs, but I am thankful to have observed him not respond with his mouth, but actually stand and tolerate the bad manners of dogs who have approached us by surprise. If I didn't have him on a leash, it would be more difficult for me to block the approach of another dog which could leave Foster feeling as if I am unable to protect him and that he's on his own. Protecting Foster, or merely controlling the approach of another dog or impolite human, shows him I see the bad manners of others and will control the interaction. It shows him he can trust me, that I'm always on his side, and that he doesn't need to respond in a way that could get all of us in trouble. I have told him several times, "I've got you covered, Buddy! No worries."
Pausing to document one of our many great days
Luna will follow without a leash, and one of our favorite things in the world to do is walk the Alligator Trail in Glen Arbor, Michigan. She with her backpack on, carrying all the things we need for the afternoon, and me with my walking stick. We are completely connected though there is no tangible fabric attaching us. It's one of my favorite feelings and I hope to create that with, and for, Foster too.
I told Luna to "Stay right there" so I could take a picture of her perfectness!
Foster Dog LOVES his very own backpack!
This is just what I do. These are my beliefs & values, and how I live them, and what I think is best for my family. I assume we're all trying to do what is best for our families. Walking every day, with structure and the purpose of bonding, is one of the best things I can do for my family. The bonus is that we love to do it! And by the way...
This is how some dogs look after a nice walk...
