Next, I must put in writing that I am working to walk on. While resistant in the beginning stages, I am now stepping toward Recovery by helping to plan our first vacation together in 2 years. The Pack is going to Colorado.
We'll be on the road and then together for days and days and days...we love it.
Dear Jason recognized the instability of my broken heart and envisioned healing beginning in Nature. Knowing our Perfect Place - Glen Arbor, Michigan - would feel less perfect without Satchel, Jason remembered another gorgeous location. A little over a year ago, he'd traveled to the Boulder, Colorado area and felt it was time to return...with his Pack.
Anxiety has become a bad habit for me. Feeling overwhelmingly stressed to leave the house and be away from Satchel is a sensation I am still experiencing. If I can bring Luna with me, I'm ok. When I am not with Luna, I have trouble breathing, concentrating, and sometimes, simply functioning. It is a reaction to more than Satchel's death. It is my body and soul's reaction to almost 15 years of crises, and being the primary caregiver to someone I desperately love. I now have the luxury of time to feel the deep emotions that come from deep love and loss. With no crisis to consume my time, I am in deep grief and do not have my greatest comforts near me. I do not have Satchel and Koko. But Thank You God, I have Luna and Jason and Nature.
We're going to Colorado. We will take a day and a half to drive to Downtown Boulder, spend 4 nights there in a cute apartment, then spend one night camping in Rocky Mountain National Park. After hopefully sleeping soundly in rustic nature, we'll drive to Vail and stay in a cute condo. Luna is welcome everywhere we go, and we'll hike and take pictures and spend all day outside and take naps and grocery shop, and hopefully feel fit and sleep well in the high altitude.
One of the worlds greatest traveling companions...she looks awfully comfy doesn't she?
I've got a list going for what I need to bring for Luna, and have packed up a few things for her:
Tea tree oil for tick protection
Food packets
Treats
Meds & Supplements
Saline eye drops
Otomax for ears
2 bags marshmallows
Collars
Recharger for flasher
Seat belt harness
Service dog vest
Leashes
My Camelback
Poop bags
Plastic grocery bags
Bowls
Rug
Small towels
Big towels?
Toys
Gulpies?
Bed
Orange fleece
Blanket
Carabiner
"Roughing it..."
I've also got a list going of what meals I'll make and what groceries I need to buy when we get there:
Quesadillas - tortillas, onion, rice, chicken, shredded cheese, sour cream, enchilada sauce
Chicken & rice in foil packets for camping - foil
Grilled sandwiches - turkey reuben? - bread, spreadable butter, cole slaw, sliced turkey
French toast - syrup, eggs, milk
Pancakes
Pasta something - pasta, sauce?, sprinkle Parmesan?
Chips & dip
Jason and Luna really know how to camp!
Our plans include driving to Pike's Peak, hiking through Estes Park and Chautauqua Park, visiting the Garden of the Gods, walking walking walking, Jason will ride his bike "a bit" (only 2 hours a day maybe), taking naps, watching a movie or two, I hope to see elk and moose.
Suited up for an adventure...
I'm smiling when I think about being with 2 of my favorite traveling companions for days and days in a row. I'm still feeling the sickly sadness in my chest when I think that the only reason I can go on this trip is because I don't have my Satchel or my Koko with me...but I know they want me to go. I know I don't honor them by being continually devastated. I honor them by finding happiness in being a contributing member of a Strong and Loving Pack...and by spending time in Nature.
Literal Tree Hugging at the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore
So we're going to Colorado, and though I am unsteady about being away from home, I know what I carry with me everywhere I go...strength from all the members of My Pack, past and present...Spunky, Woof, Jason, Satchel, Koko, T, E, Luna, Cesar, Patricia McConnell...
A memory making photo shoot in the yard...we can make any day an adventure...
